


back as we are

by msermesth



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: F/F, Hopeful Ending, Memory Loss, but kinda sweet memory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:51:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msermesth/pseuds/msermesth
Summary: The way Carol has jumped into her new life is exhilarating. She's been determined to win Jess's heart, even if Jess has already told her many times that she already had.





	back as we are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ironlawyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironlawyer/gifts).



> Set sometime after Carol's memory loss in DeConnick's run.

Carol locks the door behind her with an audible click and a mischievous grin on her lips. If Jess wasn’t standing in her apartment, wearing the tightest dress she could fish out of her closet, she would have thought Carol was about to lift off in a spaceship she had never encountered before. She just had that sort of energy about her, the type meant she’s going to jump into the unknown, and she wanted to be jumping yesterday.

Jess knows her own smile is shaky. She shouldn’t be scared, they’ve done this a million times, but it feels like the first. For Carol, it kinda is.

“I like that dress,” Carol says, giving her a deliberate once-over that sends a thrill up Jess’s spine.

Jess fights the impulse to say _I know_ , and steps close enough that her breasts press against the leather of Carol’s jacket. She had spent a whole hour trying to find the right thing to wear, but had settled on an old favorite Carol used to love. It feels a little like cheating to use all the knowledge Jess acquired before Carol lost her memory, like she has the answer key to the test Carol’s been living every day.

But Carol’s hand rests on the small of her back and Jess reminds herself she isn’t above fighting dirty.

Carol whispers, “You’re so beautiful.” She slips a strand of hair behind Jess’s ear. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

Jess doesn’t correct her, doesn’t remind her that they had been dating long before she lost her memories. It’s not as if Carol doesn’t know the history, she just doesn’t remember living it the way Jess has. “I blame our demanding careers,” Jess responds, deflecting the pang of loss she can’t struggle to shake every time their old relationship comes up.

“You’re not wrong.” Jess can hear Carol’s own regret at losing years of her life because she _couldn’t not_ be a hero.

She tilts her head to the side and presses her lips softly against Carol’s. For a minute it’s odd, different, nothing like how it used to be, but Carol’s arm pulls her closer and her mouth finds the courage to kiss her back, and there’s a spark that feels so familiar. Jess begins to walk until the backs of her legs hit the side of the couch and the two of them fall onto the cushions.

Some days, she wakes up to an empty bed and thinks about how hard it is that they have to start over again, all of their firsts being slowly replaced with new experiences, how lonely it is to no longer see recognition in the eyes of someone you love. But there are other days, days when Carol laughs at one of her jokes or catches her falling from the sky, when it’s almost thrilling to get to experience it all of it over again.

And then there’s now. Carol’s hands slide up the skin of her exposed thighs, just past the hem of her dress, and Jess’s breath catches in her throat. The way Carol has jumped into her new life is exhilarating. She's been determined to win Jess's heart, even if Jess has already told her many times that she already had.

“Is this ok?” she asks when her fingertips graze the seam of Jess's panties.

It's been so long for Jess that she can't even make a case for slowing down. Her skin tingles with anticipation, the feeling of pleasure radiating to the spot Carol is touching balanced between too much and not enough. She slips her hand past the leather of Carol's jacket and fits it against Carol's covered breast. The little breathy sound Carol makes is too perfect. “It's _very_ ok.”

Carol bites at her bottom lip, and that does it, Jess tugs at her jacket and shirt and bra until Carol's naked from the waist up. Carol lets herself be handled and stripped, grinning from ear to ear the entire time, and Jess takes great pride in the way Carol shivers when she thumbs a hard nipple. Her fingers gently rub against the damp fabric against Jess’s folds, an act which encourages Jess to grind down to get more of that wonderful pressure that sends lightning up her spin.

Jess leans down to capture a nipple between her lips and tentatively sucks, all the while her arm wraps tighter around Carol’s midsection, until they’re as close as they can be with Carol’s hand still wedged between them.

“Oh…” Carol moans, just a few seconds before her fingers find Jess’s clit. The feeling of pleasure that radiates from that spot lights up her body until she’s groaning with her lips still wrapped around Carol’s nipple. “Oh, that’s good.”

Carol’s words bring so many memories back that she’ll never be able to recreate, even if they try. So she doesn’t try. Instead, she uses the hand she has on Carol’s bare back to grab her ass and tilt her body upwards. From here she can unbutton her tight jeans and slip them past the curve of her hips until they are taught around her thighs. In a perfect world, one where Jess wasn’t out of her mind with want, she’d take the time to remove Carol’s pants completely. In this world, there isn’t time. “Yes, right there,” she mumbles. Carol is touching her clit with conviction; what she lacks in experience with Jess’s body, she makes up for in sheer will.

Jess has to twist her wrist at a strange angle, but manages to find a position where she can touch Carol’s clit and move her fingers at the same time, all without moving her mouth from Carol’s breast. Her fingers slide easily due to Carol’s wetness, just another sign that Carol is just as into this as she is, a sign that just increases her own pleasure.

Carols other hand winds in her hair, pulling her closer still, and Jess begins to feel an orgasm quickly approaching. She has an advantage--she knows what techniques Carol prefers--and she’s not afraid to use it. Carol’s breath is coming out in heavy gasps, her chest is heaving with the effort of breathing and Jess just sucks harder, sucks the way she know Carol likes it, sucks like she doesn’t want this to be the last time they ever do this.

It wasn’t too long ago that she thought she’d never get to be with Carol again. And as Carol groans, “I’m close,” she’s never been so glad to be wrong.

She tilts her head up to see Carol staring at her, surprise in her eyes, and it’s perfect. It isn’t the same, and it isn’t better, but it still manages to be all she can want and all she can have, and she knows she made the right choice when she shimmied into this dress earlier.

Her orgasm hits her head on--she feels it all through her body, from her toes to the top of her scalp, and she shakes from the force of it. “Fuck yes,” Carol says as it happens, and then she’s coming, too, with a firm grip in Jess’s hair.

When she’s reduced to just breathing, Jess removes her tired hand and her wet lips before leaning her head back to look up and see Carol still watching her with that same amount of rapture as before.

“Was it always this good?” Carol asks.

Jess doesn’t know how to answer that without delving too deep into her own feelings on Carol’s memory loss. But she tries to say something anyway, something so close to the truth she’s willing to believe it. “It’s good now. And that’s what matters.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, Iron! Here's to a great 2019!


End file.
